This past weekend stretched from Wednesday to Monday for me and was wonderfully busy. I got to spend time with many of my favorite friends and family members, grabbing drinks, having coffee, going on walks, and dining out. There were many highlights, but the brightest was watching one of my daughters do what she loves most.

Hailey sang and danced in her high school musical, The Lightning Thief, as a chorus member. Her part was small but good for a freshman; she even had one solo singing line. Based on the popular Percy Jackson series of books, the story was unfamiliar to me, but I loved it. And I was blown away by the young talent on stage in leading roles. After watching four of the five performances, the songs are still playing in my head.

Yesterday was a little chaotic. After I dropped the girls off at school, I had an appointment to deal with some business stuff, and my preparation time was cut short. We got a few inches of snow overnight, which meant shoveling the driveway was my priority. I was kind of a hot mess when I showed up, but it went okay, if a little out of the ordinary. The women there prayed over me. Public praying isn't really my thing (like, at all), but I figure I can use all I can get these days, so I graciously allowed it. Their kindness made me cry, which I also am not fond of in public, but I think I hid it well.

That was followed by sorting through personal boxes stored upstairs at our Trailer business. My sister helped me, and I found some great pictures and memories, along with some useful things and a lot of junk. The afternoon brought news of Hailey's imminent quarantine due to school covid exposure (insert eye roll here). The smoke alarm blared at Ella and me because I left the cast iron pan on the stove to dry it out and forgot about it. (We got it turned off as a team, Bob always handled it in the past). And I got super emotional looking through the pictures I brought home. Finally, I capped off the day at book club with a cocktail, good conversation, and, gratefully, an early night.

Understandably, I was looking forward to my "day off" today: no appointments, no social outings, no essential tasks. I began the day with coffee and decided to design an invitation for Bob's celebration of life. I managed to finish it, but it completely wiped me out. I went back to bed, turned on Modern Family, and let Hailey bring me microwaved dumplings. Everything felt so very heavy and sad. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and stay there for the rest of the day. No one would have blamed me.

I didn't, though. After a few hours, I made myself shower. I took my perfectly overripe bananas and made double chocolate banana bread in cute mini bundt pans, and then I made a loaf of plain banana bread. I pulled on my snow boots and walked Davy down to his favorite sniffing path. I realized that the deadline to register Ella for golf is tomorrow, and the payment that I sent a couple of weeks ago would not suffice (duh), so I filled out the necessary form. I started to cry when I realized her sports physical was in March last year and was supposed to be in May or later, and I wrote a rather pathetic email to the athletic secretary at the school. I finally figured out how to load the ink into the printer my friend gave me about three weeks ago. Too bad I only ordered tri-color ink and not black. I'll get that tomorrow so I can send in a signed rental agreement for the celebration of life venue. Then I started writing, which is where we are now.

I feel lighter tonight. Still tired, but not so heavy. As much as I know I need to allow myself to grieve, and believe me, I do; downtime is not my friend right now. My girls need me. Davy needs me. There are tasks that need to be handled and double chocolate banana bread to eat.

Life isn't as simple as it was in the picture of Bob, Ella, Hailey, and Sage at the hot air balloon launch several years ago. That's the picture I used for the celebration of life invitation. We got the girls up at dawn so we could watch the balloons, then went to breakfast at our favorite breakfast place, The Original Pancake House. It's such a sweet memory.

If you're still with me, thanks for hanging out while I process this very strange time in my life. Maybe one day soon, I'll pull those covers over my head and stay in bed all day, and that will be the right thing to do. Today it wasn't going to be helpful.

I've got plans tomorrow. Places to go, people to see, I'll be okay.🧡

Recipe links for banana bread are in the comments.